And slowly. The days are so dark, I can hardly see what was in front of me.
Groping blindly. I need a helping hand.

Worse few days. Could not beat 8th February though. Still bad.
I am trying to be cheerful, so spare me.

Extend my heartfelt gratitude to Jien Qing Qis for being nice and cheerful and ever-bitchy to me. I don't know.

These days I am quite busied with soccer, this and that. Which is good. It makes me tired. Which is good. So I can easily fall asleep and not think at night.
Which is good.

Slowly letting it go. Which is good, if I could do selective memory I would. It lingers. Trying to hate every moment of everything. Snappy? I'm trying not to be. Refrain from vulgarities. It's all on MyScreams.

&slowly. Fades away. Hahahaha I can't find the words to say. Tear down these walls for me now.

If you'd give me the world in my hands, maybe I'll love you.

ofblack&white
11:34 AM

It was the ultimate straw yesterday. And I nearly killed him, if not me. He buggered off to Japan. And I'm left happily. I cannot take it. It was really too much. Already on Friday... Heartbroken on Friday. And this shit on Saturday. Enough to ruin a whole year's meal. I was tempted to take a running jump, or some slashes here and there. I was. I was. I was. All his fault. Guys should be ball-lees and die. We do not have to go through this shit. I felt sorry for Mom.

I hate it here. Just one week of bliss and then. =( I don't know whether to laugh or cry at my situation take your pick. I've had enough. Anymore shit and someone's dying soon.

And I'm fucking serious.

ofblack&white
3:22 PM

GAH.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS ALREADY.
SODD OFF.

Fuck off. Really.

ofblack&white
5:16 PM

I can't believed it slipped my mind to put it in brightcitylights-.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO NURUL HAYATI. <33

She made me sing her a birthday song, regardless sorethroat or not, regardless my place. I was at Mac. I was terribly embarassed singing it through the phone.

I was in the bus and looked up the sky. I saw the magnitude of God's power, and I saw possibilites. So I can say safely, that I'll make everyday worth my while. Plan my day like a rigid ass but I'll enjoy it all the same. And I'll still work my way through this mess.
And I'll say I still want you.

Our deadly sins feel his mortal wrath, remove all obstacles from our path.

ofblack&white
10:14 PM

The weather had been cruelly erratic. It was raining penguins yesterday, and today it shone like anything. Training in the blazing bleeding hot sun is definitely not my cup of tea. Really left me drained. Saw Rachel during training, and I feel like jumping at her screaming, but I was on the pitch. Sad.

Mathematics occupied me from 1130-1330hrs. MacLaurin's expansion proved doable, but the thought of Permutation and Combination (P&C) definitely scared the hell out of me. I hate that topic. Those Add Math topics kept bringing back Ms Ada Tan's face. It was scary, not that she looked like a shark or anything but, I just got that phobia of being punished again. I was, as usual, bugged my someone. I shall remember my insect repellent tomorrow.

I found a nice spot to sleep in school. My favourite place. I just joined 2 benches and lay on it. It has a nice effect, for the ceiling was far high above, like a sky. I like spaciousness. Momma had to spoil my nap by calling. Aqil has gotten 226. Fair marks. But I must say, he was disappointed.

Our teams had been finalised, just waiting to play on a (hopefully) fine Saturday. I felt sad for Franc. Just not her luck. Else she could've played but due to... undesirable circumstances. But no matter. My team, with an illustrious name, La Femme are Cas Amanda Kara Esther and Clare. We're SRJC La Femme. Whereas... the other team are Kat Star Zhong Vanessa Siti Nurul. Did I left anyone out? Maybe not. They're the POWER RANGERS. Believe it. Thanks Nurul. I do hope Franc would cheer up. Would be dull without her noise.

I'm in love with Octavarium. The whole album. Awesome. Especially Octavarium itself. 24minutes song. It spelled PERFECTION.

ofblack&white
9:57 PM

These days it was so cold, it could probably freeze a penguin. It was such an ordeal to take a bath in the morning. Yes, I know there was a creation called WATER HEATER, but think of the pain when stepping out of the shower. Brr.

The lecturer today was not mundane, and certainly strict. Which I think is good for a) It allowed my mind to pay attention and b) I didn't dare sleep. Not that i could anyway, seeing that I moved to the second row. The topic was not as scary as it seems.

I dragged myself to J8 for 3 hours was there for me to burn like leaves. Had a McD breakfast, with yours truly. She will die tomorrow due to her unzippable incessant blabbermouth. Well, at least she was KIND enough to accompany me to Funland, and of course, Heaven with StrikersII. I finished all 10 tokens by 11.45. I do not know whether I want to cry or laugh at my spendthriftness. I ended up taking the 12.30 bus. Nice would be an understatement to that convo I had at the bus stop.
Ahha Thank You.

Bused my way to Marine Parade, it took me 45 minutes. My head was lolling around like a spaceship, it was such a wonder my neck did not snap. Went PP, and I found out this cool thing, where you can design the base of your iPods/handphones, and have it on your... iPods/handphones. It costs 38$, I was tempted. I know the devil is poking fun at me. It even give you weather and scratch resistant. We shall see. Played (again) at the arcade. Jurassic Park was not bad, neither was VirtuaCop, but it was wasted for we did not manage a go at TimeCrisisII. Some snivelling kid hogged it. StrikersIII was not as nice as its predecessor.

Walked about and I met Shikin. It was an OMFS moment. It has been ages since I've met her and she just appeared. She took her N levels this year, due to some... nevermind. She was fine and all. Still looking pretty.

It's still cold. And we've come to a block, the chalet. Ay. Pray it could be settled my tomorrow.

ofblack&white
6:57 PM

I would not pretend that Economics is the most exciting subject, neither can I say that Ms Lee is the best lecturer around. Would not make much of a difference if I were to sleep in in the cold bitter morning. Bah.

There was a briefing regarding LEAP camp next year. They make it sound exciting, and I am excited. So sue me, I'm a cheap-thrill person. I was tickled incessantly by the ant who had the nerve to do that; considering she borrowed my jacet pocket.

I was not late to meet Yanling dearest at Bishan. Went to grab the tickets first; We are Singaporeans what else do you expect? Lunched at Swenson's again. I treated her. My pocket is now way steep. Harry Potter 4 was not that bad, though they could still lengthen it. They cut scenes like mowing lawns, and frankly only those who read the book would understand the storyline, for they jumped about like mad hatters.

Anyway we went to Paragon to satisfy someone's craving for Japanese desserts, which are meagre yet cheap; 5$. It was fair, for the desserts were delish. But I still do not understand the need to go all the way there just for dessert. Consider her mad, I know (: Walked about. I proved her wrong. There IS a Crumpler shop there. I fell in love with a bag. 75$. Not bad. Coming my way.

Went to Nike of course. Got myself a bottle yet again, for my old bottle disappeared during training. Felt like crying cause my pocket was WAY steep. Boo. Cam-whored like nothing else. Head home after.

Need to solve this monetary crisis I'm facing. So many to buy, so little money. I would not mind having Richard Gere and his Mastercard to rescue me. I really won't. Love to see him smile anyway!

Come what may. Just hope they would treat me to both lunch and pool and arcade tomorrow.

I am slightly slow but...

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MICHELLE TAN YANLING. <3

ofblack&white
7:20 PM

My relatives came swarming into my house like bees to honey, and I was kept busy from afternoon till late night. Before we went our usual house-hopping. Pity I could not enjoy myself, for sorethroat and fever plagued me. Came at the wrong time it did. All the wonderful food was there. I stared. I was feeling limped yesterday night, but was well enough to head school. Thanks to Dicky's sweater, icicles didn't form around my butt.
Had some fall out with my dad. And I am still hating.

It was really tough, two months of redundancy, and going for Econs lecture just now was like introducing me to quantum physics. I was feeling so disorganised. The terms felt alien, I had to pinch myself.

Meeting darling Yanling tomorrow. Hope the lecturers would no't hold me back. Or I'll garrot their neck if they spoil my date. My body, I pray, would not ache after tomorrow. I longed for Soccer. Pray a day would be free, so we could go play pool sometime this week.

I wanna feel your body breaking
Wanna feel your body breaking, and shaking, and left in the cold
I wanna heal your conscience making a change to fix this dying soul.

ofblack&white
5:30 PM

How, I would rather be swallowed up by the sea, than being blamed for something I had not done. I hate being the black sheep, but vengeance, ah I say, vengeance come near. And they will, yes I say, they will pay for it dearly.

Slowly accumulating like a hill, like a debt, and I'll repay their utmost kindness with a vileness, no one could match. You will soon see what I am capable. Do not doubt me, I say, do not doubt me.

I felt that stabbing as I often felt, when I see a family so happy together, their joy so obvious that I felt like throwing mashed potatoes. Sigh. I should be ashamed of myself.

I am a monster. So kill me, you'll be doing the world a big favour.

ofblack&white
11:29 PM

It was certainly one-of-a-kind punishment, for I was late for History. The thing with Mr Tay, he thought up of dumb things to do to us. Like how we have to stand one-legged through out. Well he gave mercy after an hour. Not that it mattered, cause I was practically sitting on the table and leaning one leg on the chair. Bit crazy though, 1130 to 1700 hrs of History. The glories of LKY and politics. =.=

Soccer was not usual. Rugby had a match so we couldn't use the field, and make do with the small patch of grass that we had. What made it funny was when we got on the track. Had to piggy-back our friend and dribble the ball within the lane of the track. The ball crosses the lane and die; 5 pumpings each. Kat and I were great at that. No pumpings. Wheelbarrow was the absolute hysterics for me. I kept letting go of Kat's legs because of the hilarious sight of others wheelbarrowing. Kat had nice grazings on her knees thanks to me. Oh and you have to dribble the ball with your head while being wheelbarrowed. Twas funny.

Ay, and a few rounds around the hall area, for the rain came tearing down. I lost my bottle, a peculiar thing. I thought I carried it around with me and moments later it was not in my grasp. Strange.

Tortured bringers of demise.

ofblack&white
11:04 AM

It was probably going to kill me anyway, running is. Just two rounds for warming up, and headed off to the gym. The gym was a laugh. I missed skipping ropes. And the treadmill was tiring. Ay. Mr Poh brought us for a spin, 3 rounds of the outer circle. I thought it was ok, but my lungs burst and blood spurt out. Well, if only I can end dramatically. Was whoozy after running. The only motivation for me to run was the sky. I just stared at it, and it didn't tire me much.

Went Punggol and then Tamp after training. I died at LJS. LOVE. The downside: Already more than a month without BK. Survived. Then we went to my lusted arcade. Oh you can hear my blood screaming for it. He owed me 5 bucks of tokens, but then changed ten dollars. Nobody said I complained. Ha. Played Daytona. I gamed-over fairly fast, but I think I scared Ham with my swearings. Car kept being totalled.

We fought on Marvel vs Capcom and naturally, I won. Ha. Busted his ass there. And my favourite game, AIR HOCKEY. Did the busting of ego too. 14-10, I was jumping around like Zebeddee. Time Crisis2, now he scared me. Cursed alot. LOL. That machine ate tokens like the cookie monster eating... cookies. Ah Strikers II 1945, I'm better at that. And we changed more tokens for Time Crisis2. Was fun shooting, I aimed where it hurts. Well, at least i tried.

Times are love, I found Memoirs Of A Geisha. I've read it, but my mind wailed. Yea haven't read it for ages. 17.95$ went like that. SO off we headed home. :) Between us, we blew alot of money away.

Arcades killed my wallet, and I promise not to go there anymore (for this week). To be able to join next week's day-tourny is great, but winning it is another matter. Besta luck.

Met... Lionel Aisyah Dicky Alvin Sham Suhairi and Jocelyn (in chronological order). TK-sians swarm around like bees there. Lol.

All hail their sacrificed sons.

ofblack&white
7:59 PM

Was plagued by a horrible headache, or was it hallucinations that fogged my brains? I do not know it felt weird. Anyway of the 18 I invited from a6 8 turned up, but I was not displeased, for TKsians paid a visit to my house. I saw my loved ones again. :) Ah we did the usual, chatted, ate, pictures, sorts.

By 3 most of the SRJCians were out, and 8 sec3s came over, Maz and gang, utmost loveliness. My Maz, Emmi, Izzatul, Hazzi, Zhi Ling, averyshymalaygirl, FengLi and Zheng Yao (thinkso) came tumbling in. Lol. They finished up everything I had. Ay, 3 cookie bottles done, a whole jug of syrup, and three plates of cakes polished. Ay, young 'uns eat more I reckon? They were very lame yes. There was not any need to add that. The trio as crazy as ever, Hazzi still looking shy but surprisingly ate alot. Ay they were not acting normal, so that's normal. Lol. I made all the Malays salam me properly and insisted they kissed my hand before I gave them the money. Forced Maz to come up with nice words for me. Haha... Funny. The 3 Chinese looked uber nice in their baju kurong which were loaned. Michelle actually said that Zheng Yao looks like a girl. LOL.

So by the time the 'kids' were out, Michelle Tan called and came over. Well before coming over she actually got lost, hence calling me thrice. Michelles, I came to the conclusion, do not have any sense of direction. It was really wonderful to see Mel Rach Zw Lc, all whom I haven't seen for nearly a year. Oh yes of course MichTan too. Lol. They were noisy, as usual, if not more. Rachel deafened me with her laughter when she watched Russell Peters. Been quite some time since I spend time with this clique, due to some differences (they love to study...?) and because i spend more time with the other two cliques. Ay, it was nice. What with the cooling rain and all.

Feeling tired. I think Jon's dyed hair suited him. Lol. Early night today, there's training tomorrow, at 2. And we need not bring boots. No boots=PT=sucky. Ay come what may.

Dominating, invincible. Blacked-out, loss of control. Overwhelming, unqunechable.
I'm powerless, I have to let go.

ofblack&white
9:02 PM

Was not in such a fantabulous mood past two days, well, as you must have read. Anyway Saturday was a great day. Went over to Naz with Syahril and Ham, eat and do what we always do; Talk. So after I went over to my cousins. We were playing Uno and stress the whole day, and my uncle (the same one) had the cheek to say that we cheat. Ha. Just because HE didn't win. Lol. The level adults would stoop to.

Sunday was fine too. Went over to Qis's, ate alot. And fell in love with little Aqilah, who looked 5 but is actually 7. Guess and DKNY kid. One branded dude man, I'd fling her down and run away with her, but the sister, ay, such a hindrance. Then Anas and then Lina Adilah Nabs Ams Farah and Nazeera came by. Kinda nice to have those gossipy moments and all. Didn't go out after that, Dad's friends came over.

Recounting is boring but who cares? Yesterday I went for (drumrolls) TUITION. Oh wow. How exciting no? I'm just flabbergasted by the fact that I can't even do simple differentiation. I'm turning into a complete dunce. Maybe I should stand in a corner of the room. Blah. Must get the numbers back on the tip of my fingers.

And finally Today, ah yes, fine day too. Came for the LEAP camp briefing, died under some people's lameness, also died while waiting for the Princess to give his signature. Also had some enlightening on the M.A.D movement, which was good, for it would be dumb not to know about the activity that you've signed up. So we had History, which was, surprisingly, quite entertaining. Mr Tay's antics, though was slightly miffed with his attire check.

Went for early Dinner with Ham at Swensens. Had Debate 101. Lol. I was so desperate to play Strikers II 1945 T.T was so tempted to ask Mayyee to lend me a jacket, for I need to cover my blouse in order to play. Some ass took away my handphone and talked me out of it. I'll kick his balls soon.

Grr. Need game. My hands are itchy. And I am afraid to sleep now, weird freaky dreams are starting to haunt me once more. Boo.

ofblack&white
9:28 PM

It just seemed to be those days again, when everybody just happened to have an urgent NEED to fucking bother me, and irritate me. Can anyone not bother me, can they just grant me one MINUTE of privacy?! Good God I'm beginning to think the world is soooo fucking crowded, that everyone has a BIG issue with me.

Gah. If I'm not irritated right now, I do not know what it is.
I want a world of my own.

If it's ever possible.

ofblack&white
10:38 PM

Yes I am fairly irritated, by this male chauvinist PIG called DAD. I hope he goes away fast. And I mean fast, because I can no longer hold this temper that have been flaring for all of two years, and because I nearly lashed out today, tonight, or rather, this morning.

I shall just bite my tongue for the moment and stop me from attacking. I am already having a no-talking terms with him. My personal battle.

Push my buttons, and you'll fucking get it.

ofblack&white
12:51 AM

I went for History class today, and all we did was watch a movie. Documentary some may say. It was interesting, though it could get boring at some parts (mainly, according to Hikki-san, because the people talked so slow it could kill a snail). It's about the communists, PAP, and Dr Lee Kuan Yew. I am not lying when I said I enjoyed it. I do not know why, I can practically feel the electricity in it, especially when Dr Lee shouted Merdeka, or when he talked about opposing Lin Chin Siong, I can feel his anger. I do not know, call me weird, but it's cool. I even saw David Marshall (and his brush-like eyebrow) and even if he talked slow, he displayed many emotions, like how he regretted being impatient for getting independence.

Yes, I think I can see some of you dying like cockroaches reading about my (wonderful) History lessons. We had training yesterday, partly dry, partly in the rain. And I blamed the rain for giving me this fever. Cold, I shiver inside yet it felt hot. Grr. Had dinner with some of the girls over at Macs. Yep. My money screamed.

Hope my body felt better to go out tomorrow with Naz Ham and Syahril. These days you could just snap your fingers and I'd go dead rolling on the floor snoring. Sheesh.

And it's because I love, that's why.

ofblack&white
8:19 PM

I was woken by Naz's call, and it somehow annoyed me slightly, for I hate my sleep to be disturbed, as it was a million times before. Had to rush off to school to meet them, and we (Syahril Naz Hamzah Mayyee Heiwai Zhengyong) decided to lunched at J8 LJS. Well, initially. Went to Bistro instead. The food was fine, we played the number game, and thank God I wasn't destined to force down any dumb beans or whatever-that-thing-was-called, Hamzah did the honors. I only had to chew down some garnish with the special sauce of mushroom-peachtea-cheese-blackpepper-redpepper.

Walked about and gotten a bottle, dirty-green and pretty. Went to Funland and got hooked with... StrikersII 1945 again. Spent nearly all of 52$ today, and I rather think it was worth it.

Rushed back to school for training, and boy was it fun, tiring, aching, whatever. I can juggle up to 6 times without stopping, and I am rather proud of myself. Had a match in the rain, cold water trickled to my insides, made me squirm.

Twas great, for I saw people I missed, played soccer, and gotten a nice bottle.

But my greatest reward was that I saw a pretty little thing. That pretty little thing made me day, it was sweet and pretty, it made me smile. I was happy, for a moment I thought I'd go to Heaven. God knows what I meant. The pretty little thing I saw. :)

ofblack&white
8:57 PM

So I was touched by Naz and Syahril's surprise for me. With a nice square cut cake that screamed "Surprise" and a lone candle stuck to it. Ok, it totally blew me away, for I didn't expect this. Long story. :) Really very nice of them. Went and ate Gelare too, scrumptious I should say, got a craving for that.

Dropped by E-Zone, went crazy over the airplane game, Strikers II 1945, Syahril was head-over-heels with Marvel vs Capcom, Naz was too absorbed in cramps to enjoy anything much. Had a game of air hockey, quite hilarious. What was the funniest was the way Syahril was begging. "Can I play Photo Y2K please?" Lol.

Went to school to hand in I&R, my bad, for I completed it long ago, just lazy to print it out and hand it up. So, it was slightly an annoying trip for me.

Forget about Dear Mama if any of you managed to sneak a peek. It was not for any of your eyes. Nothing is certain in life, and I was not sure if I am me. Like I once said, I longed to kill me. Don't say I am weird, just different.

Lunch tomorrow with Naz Syahril Ham maybe May Yee Hei Wai Jon and Zheng Yong'll be tagging along. Weird no? Four Malays and four Chinese. I'm not racist, I am just pointing it out.

Then came a shot out of the night.

ofblack&white
10:54 PM

Midnight 'rendevous' with two guys bad-mouthing each other and cursing our luck in Literati. Qing is going down, and JY dies. Muahaha. It's time to be sexist and feminist now.

ofblack&white
12:32 AM

PW literally end here, now I can really feel the relief that washed over unlike Promos. Maybe I put too much effort in it. Not a waste, now I missed not meeting my group members. Anyway before our OP did many trials, that we did. No one would want a lousy grade do we? Did five rounds, and it did left us (happily) exhausted. I treated them all to Mac breakfast, funny affair, smuggling the delivered food into the classrooms, guiltily eating (for Michelle anyway).

It went quite well, I am so proud of Jason I felt like bursting, for he put in lots of effort in it, its obvious. And the QnA, even if he didn't answer it thoroughly, at least he tried, oh yes he tried. And I was quite touched by what he said, lol. I told him its ok lah, even if you screwed the QnA up, you're choosing to go poly anyway. And he said no, it's not that, it might affect your results, beacuse its tied up together, the presentation that is. :) Aww. The others did up to expectations, if not better, and I am terribly pleased and proud of them.

Late lunch with the bitchy boy. He spilled his coke over the front of his pants, so its as if he peed. Planned to have a nice gathering on the 15th, after we submitted our GPF. It was this mutual understanding that some people just need NOT be invited.

Ay, for it felt so empty. As void as the sparse desert. Spare me some thought ok?

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY SHAZANA!

ofblack&white
11:18 PM

So I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to them who showered me with wishes calls messages presents and whatnots. :] Thank you.

Ok so I was SLIGHTLY down yesterday due to some... unknown thingers, but the monster inside was somewhat tame today, and I managed to do something I couldn't these days; enjoy. Went a-visiting. Twas funny playing Uno with my cousins and my uncle. His first time playing and his first time winning. Was funny, with him complaining why isn't it his turn when we kept reversing for the fun of it.

My parents asked if I wanted anything since I've joined the ranks of seventeen. I said a watch, and they dragged me to Mustafa to get one. They've got so many different brands, high end ones, DKNY Fossil to D&G Omega. Dad came home yesterday bytheway. So I pick some nice fancy smancy watch which was below the limit. [: My parents are 147$ poorer, I was guilty, but they said it was fine.

I musn't lose it, lose it lose it. Keep my calm.
God, if I ask would you answer? If I ask why is this pain eating me up would you tell me why and cure it?

ofblack&white
10:14 PM

Give me space, I need to be alone.
Give me space boy, I need to be alone.
Give me space friends, I need to be alone.
Give me space, I do not wish to face them.

Sorry. Times like this I wish I did not know anyone and anything. Migrate me to the Arctic.

ofblack&white
10:25 AM

Fine day, like the buttercups in the meadows. PW rehearsals, in the cold morning. Good chat with jason, he's a nice fine guy. Tired out from last night, plagued by weird dreams. The tall figures fade away, but familiar faces appeared, and I screamed and cried at what was not meant. In my dreams of course. I did not know why.

Anyway my dearests brought the smile to my face, for I missed them so. My closest clique, Fana Ivy Zel and Qing. :) I was so uber happy to see them, and everyone squabbled like the old times. Ivy being as disgusting as ever. Qing, he is more whiter, with that (ugly) white-blond hair and crappier, Fana as sweet and Hazel ever sarcastic. Ah shucks. We went Swensons and had a blast, photos will be uploaded later. Ate alot, the 120.58$ I spent on them was worth it. Ivy's jokes still fail to bring the laugther in. Cold. Early presents, but I should thank them for the time and company. :) Love love. The Giant Earthquake was delicious, lol everybody complaining about everybody else stealing their portion. Twas sad I couldn't follow them out for a game of pool. It ended nicely anyway, <3

Hate feeling wishy washy. These days were the worse. Help.

I am used to being alone for a long time and I face it with a smile. Believe me I choose to wait.

ofblack&white
5:56 PM

It's the season of forgiving and asking for forgiveness. Tis the season of getting rich for youngsters too. I thought, since the economy isn't somewhat promising, money would be less. Guess I'm wrong, for Grandma alone gave us fifty. Uncles and aunties were throwing no less than red and green notes.

It was like any other year, but without Dad. Twas (very) peaceful I must say, but I still do not like having the festive season without a member of the family. Anyway, my cute cousins grew so huge and tall and whatever, an elephant wouldn't overshadow them. Ok not that drastic but you catch my drift yes? I didn't eat much today, for my tummy seems bloated with air. Mama gave me pills, but I never liked them anyway. All in all, it was a fine fair day, with a headache to spoil it, but it wasn't enough to dampen the Hari Raya spirit. I actually got along well with my bro. o.o

So tired... I realised I was different, like a wholemeal in the midst of whitebreads. I'm different, and so be it. I am better. And no one is going to underrate me.

To tell her of fear and of sorrow and pain. She'll never outgrow.

ofblack&white
11:33 PM

There would be days when everything just pisses you off. So today God gave me those days. I do not know to be thankful or patient.

So early wee early I was as pissed as a parrot already. Everything seemed wrong, and the final straw just happened to be when Jason didn't turn up. I kind of regret screaming at him, but it wasn't my fault he was at the wrong place (home) at the wrong time. So he was sick. At least inform me please?! Grr.

SO even if I were to be smiling all the time, doesn't mean you can step on me everytime right? I hate it when people try be funny and piss me off and not take me seriously when I told them to shut up. Maybe the phrase that would work is 'fuck off'. I hate today, I hate feeling grumpy. What does the World have against me. I should stand on the edge of this world and scream out for my answer.

Huh. For some happiness, this is for everyone. Made by Qis for me.




Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin. If I did any wrongs, I readily ask for your kind mercy and forgiveness. Know that everything I did was not intentional, kalau tersinggung perasaan just maafkan yah? I'm human I make mistakes.

Apparently some people didn't know that.

ofblack&white
7:43 PM

Rip it off from my own el-jay. Shall try twist it.

If I Had A Billion Dollars:

I would scream, keep it quiet after the hype died down, buy a house for the family and us, with a pool table and a small pond with kois. I want a fat cat too. I'd buy each of my close lovable friends an iBook with an iPod of their choice, and treat them to some high-end restaurant. I'd donate some funds to TK for more upgrading. More importantly, I'll buy all my high-end gadgets and a hot car, a gazebo in Bali. Then I'll sit back, relax, die happy without working, maybe think about God. Maybe us. :)

ofblack&white
8:41 PM